Worship - a forgotten word

Worship.

I say I am a christian. I say I love God. I say I read my Bible. But rarely do I choose the words, "I worship the one true God." It is a strong statement and I think my timidness keeps me from it. I worry that timidness also keeps far from God.

I read a online Bible lesson on worship and it never truly defined what it looks like to worship. I know some see it as singing, as praising our Lord publicly, as dancing in the isles, raising hands, and shouting from our seats with joy. But I am too timid to stand out in this way. The Bible says in John 4:23-24, "But the hour is coming, and now is, when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is a spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth."

Furthermore, in 1 John 3:24:  Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

 Here is what I have deduced: If to worship God means to worship in truth and spirit and his spirit is in us to help us live by his commands and in him, is it then worship to be obedient and live in him? Does one need to raise one's hands? Does one need to dance in the isles? I wonder if I question this out of sincere curiosity, out of the genuine fear of the Lord, or because I just don't want to dance in the isle. I have felt it on my heart to be more vocal about the Lord. To pronounce him. To not shy away from bringing up my faith in everyday conversations or to not shy away from urging others to take their salvation into consideration.

I want to worship in truth and spirit. I don't think it is the key to obtain eternal life, but I do believe that it is a witnessing of your love for God. I just need to find my fire.



Jimmy Needham seems to know me in this song. But my heart wants to speak 'round here. I hope to serve. I hope to love with deeds, hands, and with what I speak.

A Day Downtown

Downtown Harrisonburg is adorable. So far, not as adorable as downtown Staunton, but I still like it. Kyle and I made a trip down last Saturday to shop the farmer's market, get lunch at an artsy fartsy cafe, and check out a fabric store. Oh, and we took some pictures.

A Wall Dilemma

So, I was excited to finally get to hang some decorations on my living room wall. But now, well I don't like the layout. But I am not sure what to do. I think when it comes to decorating I sometimes step a little outside the box and it is hard to make my design choices work. I painted my walls salmon! The couch is yellow and green and I went with salmon. I am nuts.

Here is what it looks like now.

You see the large space in the middle. The dead space - it bugs me.

This is the desk side. I am not sure if I like the distressed white effect I gave the mirror and I am not sure I like the cheapness of the shelves. Not sure..not sure.

Then there is this side. I love the dresser. I love the baskets. I love the framed pictures. But maybe not all together. 

And here is my dead zone. My dilemma.

What to do? What to do?

Wat R U Reeding?

I fear for the English language. I look around a room of 25 ninth graders, 14 year-olds, with young adult literature open on their desks and I wonder who is truly reading and who is just skimming to get through the class. The ones I know read, the ones who tell me about their novels daily, have a tighter grasp on the English language. They master words, phrases, and sentences. They can explain themselves more fully and their minds can more creatively infer what literature or even a prompt is really getting at. They could be natural more gifted at language, but I can't tell that. What I can see is that - they read!

I read an article recently about the decline of reading. Americans, when polled, explained that they are too busy, that visual media has usurped their time. They watch the news; they don't read the Times. They wait for the movie to come out; they don't read the book (even though 97% of the time I am convinced the book is better). The article even indicated that some parents would rather sit their children in front of an educational video, i.e. Baby Einstein, instead of read to them.

This all worries me. My ninth graders have trouble spelling many common words - when, what, believe, beginning, friendship, character, write, peace. However, the students who enjoy reading, who read at home, are better writers. I tell them this. I tell them to be better writers, they need to read, but I don't think they have "time."

I don't know if I sound pompous saying all of this. I guess it has just been on my mind.

Three Years!

I'm happy to be stuck with you.

P.S. I stole this idea from Kori. However, his is a lot cooler. : )

About these wolves

Ever since I watched those two movies and wrote that last post, I have been thinking about evil in the world. I was listening to the Christian radio station and a woman came on from an organization called Proverbs 31 Ministries. Proverbs 31:8 says, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." The woman said, "Hurt people hurt people."

That's what she said: "Hurt people hurt people."

Kyle likes to watch this show called "Dexter." I think it is horrible show because the main character is a serial killer and he is the protagonist, which goes against the accepted form of fiction. I asked Kyle though what made him kill. Kyle explained that Dexter underwent a horrible trauma when he was a boy - he watched his mother be brutally murdered in front of him.

It is weird to write about this on my Bible blog, but this is an accepted truth in our world. That sometimes people who have been hurt can go on to hurt others. In my last post, I talked of "monsters." But what if somewhere along the line these "monsters" weren't monsters. What if they still aren't monsters? They are God made. They are still human. Being hurt in the past doesn't forgive their actions now. But God can forgive.

So the question I have been pondering is where does evil start? Why are some so easily influenced by evil? The devil tried to tempt Jesus. The devil failed.

But, Judas. With Judas, the bible says the devil suceeded.
Luke 22:3 explains: "Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve. And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. They were delighted and agreed to give him money. He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present."

Proverbs 6 explains that God hates evil.
Proverbs 6:16-19
 "There are six things the LORD hates,
       seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes,
       a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes,
       feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies
       and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."


To better understand evil. I researched it some more.
God created evil. God also can destroy. The book of Isaiah explains this.
Isaiah 54:16-17 (New International Version)
      "See, it is I who created the blacksmith
       who fans the coals into flame
       and forges a weapon fit for its work.
       And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc; no weapon forged against you will prevail,
       and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
       This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
       and this is their vindication from me,"
       declares the LORD."

Then, Jesus gave the parable of weeds. This parable gives a kind of answer to why evil exists and how it exists.
Matthew 13:24-30 

"Jesus told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.
"The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?'
" 'An enemy did this,' he replied.
      "The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?'
 'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' "

This gives me some answers on evil. But, I am too easily affected. I read books about tragedy (Little Bee). I have to teach books about tragedy (Night). I watch movies about tragedy. I watch TV shows about tragedy. And I am blessed with a life of ease. I am so blessed, so very very blessed, yet so aware of the evil in this world. It is hard to know what to do with the knowledge that there evil is out there. It is hard to know how to help this world. I guess it goes back to Proverbs 31:8.

I hate that I fear that evil.

La La Lists

Okay, so this first list might sound like complaining...but it is just a simple list. A list of things that STINK! : )

A Short List of Things That Stink

1. Accidentally walking into the boys' bathroom
2. Breaking out because of stress
3. Having like 5 home improvement tasks ahead of you with no energy to start any of them
4. The way flats make your feet sweat and ...stink ...literally
5. Kyle working weekends
6. International Delight Fat Free Vanilla Latte creamer....yuck!
7. A student who disguises a mean question as a general question. For example (you know this happened today and prompted this whole list) a student said, with a sneer, "Is this class only a semester long or does it last all year?" Just made me want to stick my tongue out at him. Ha!

Okay...now for a positive note.  Here are the things-that-don't-stink list. 

A Wee but Worthy List of Wonderful Things

1. God saving me from embarrassment and making sure that boys' bathroom was empty. Really, who are these new teachers August County is hiring? Sheesh.
2. Alliteration ...and everyone who knows what that is. Google if you don't. : )
3. Catching up with Pooja Mathew
4. Generous family members who give their furniture away when they plan to buy new
5. The one ninth grader who calls "Teacher! Teacher!" when he wants me to check his writing. It is so cute.
6. 3 years.
7. Finally finding bedding I like.

Wolves

With all the rating levels that mark a movie's acceptability for youth, I believe that there is a missing rating. Rated -H. "H" stands for "sucks all the hope for humanity out of you." H stands for "this-movie-will-make-see-the-world-as-a-horrible-horrible-place-where-no-child-is-safe-and-adults-can-be-monsters."

Maybe I am just too easily affected by movies. I have watched two recently that are H-rated: Precious and Gone Baby Gone. Precious - horrible movie, but I watched the whole thing. I don't know why. What a horrible life. What a horrible mother. What a horrible set of circumstances. I cried for what felt like all day ...at least on the inside. Gone Baby Gone - now I can see why this one is considered a great movie, but man did it give me nightmares. I was okay until the scene where they go into the crack house. What kind of monsters are those people? It made me hate to even wonder if monsters like that really existed. Eekk...I hate thinking about it now.

But, the truth is sadly, that this world is the devil's. It is corrupted and false. It is tempting and hateful. Not all the people in it of course and not every part of the world, but truthfully there are some ugly things in this world.

It reminds me of the scripture that speaks on wolves. Jesus used the image of a wolf to represent a sneaky, vicious creature. Furthermore, wolves are one of the main enemies of sheep farmers. And since Jesus is our shepphard, and we his sheep, I just have to remember that the Shephard has vowed to save us from the wolves. To save us from all evil, actually, even damnation.

Jesus spells it out in John 10:11-16.



I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me,  just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd.

I am so thankful for my shepherd. And I pray a prayer of protection and guidance for all those that need the good shepherd. Wolves are scary. 

Oh, Pottery Barn. Oh, Pottery Barn.

I think I love Pottery Barn. They are not the cheapest in home furnishing, but they speak to me. Finally, I think I found bedding I like. I have settled on getting a white comforter and a duvet cover. That will make it easier if I ever want to change the look of the bedroom and plus I want one of Pottery Barn's duvet sets. However, I can't pick.

I thought of doing a nautical theme in the master bedroom, but I think I will save that for the guest bedroom. Since I found nautical bedding I like that will fit better in that room. So that leaves the door wide open (again) for the master. Well, the walls are painted light blue. And the furniture (including the bed once I stain it) is dark brown.

Here are the duvets I like. Leave me a comment to vote for the one you prefer.

Monreale Paisley
More reds.
I like the paisley.
And this one is on sale.
But, is it too girl?

Blythe Paisley
More of a tan base.
I really like this one, but it is organic sateen cotton, so it is a bit more expensive.
I like this one with red as more of an accent color.

Wells Palampore 
This one I think screams the style of my house.
It is a little whimsy and a little country.
But it doesn't have a lot of blue in it.
I still like it though.

Thoughts?

Jimmy Needham "Dearly Loved"

John writes:
" ¹⁵Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. ¹⁶For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. ¹⁷The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:15-17

In the song, "Dearly Loved," Jimmy Needham speaks about "the world." He showcases it as a liar. He says it doesn't satisfy. When Jesus came across a woman at the well, he tells her she came for water, but he could give her water that would never make her thirst again. It is interesting to think of people who are searching the world for satisfaction as thirsty. Thirst can be uncomfortable. Its a lack of water. Water is life-giving. Without it, man dies. So if a person without Jesus, walks through this world with a great thirst, no wonder they might turn to all kinds of things that promise fullfillment. The song says, "To the slaughter you are being led/ Being told that it's a party /That this God is in your head/ And every single lie/ Sounds just like the greatest truth."

I remember in college, the number of people who relied on going out and drinking to bring happiness. I remember many who looked to that type of life to make them feel wanted and to help them enjoy their hours. Heck, I used to be one of "these people." Many just want to find happiness. Some people rely on money. Some on a hobby. Some put all their happiness needs on another human. Just because you aren't looking up to a gold-plated calf, doesn't mean you aren't paying homage to something else. Heck some people worship celebrities or fictional blood-sucking romantics. Ha. Okay, maybe that is going too far.

However, it means nothing compared to God's love. Jimmy Needham is right. It's worth it to know your maker and to lose your sin.



I was just talking to someone who was dumped yesterday. They took it pretty bad. I know how it feels. It  sucks. I talked to them about God having a plan and that we need to have faith that he has our best interest in mind. Man, it helps to know that. It is amazing when you give yourself over to true faith, when you believe that just by calling on him, you are calling in 100% reliable back up. Well, more like front up...as in, He is the leader.

Jesus tells us it is worth to know him. No greater joy. No great truth. In Matthew 11:28-30, He says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Amen for that. 

I feel like many people, I am thinking of a few in my family, will pray when times are tough. But that prayer is just catharsis. It is just meant to express a feeling. Its just so amazing when you have faith enough to believe that prayer to come true. I think I have been growing in faith. I believe that when I pray, God hears me. I believe that he knows my heart and he knows my circumstances and he is in my corner.

I know I am dearly loved. And it is so nice to know.

See Melissa Run.

You see...I put on a little weight. Not I-hate-the-way-I-look or not-very-healthy-anymore weight. Just normal haven't-been-exercising weight.

Exercising has been a battle for me. I find it so boring. I am more a sit and read or sit and draw kind of girl. But that is too much sitting. So I ran today. Running is okay. Running outdoors is definitely better than a treadmill. I want to start looking for classes, though. Maybe I could like exercising...I just haven't found the right exercise yet. Maybe yoga. Maybe kickboxing. Maybe zumba. Whatever that is. Ha.

I need to run until then though.

I like to eat too much to diet, so I plan on running. Just until my clothes fit better and I feel more fit.

Now this is high school.

Teaching at Stuarts Draft really feels like teaching at a home town high school. It feels like my first high school in Pennsylvania. Surrounded by corn fields. Full of charm, pride, and the love of football. Last night, I had probably the best time ever as a teacher at a school event. It was Draft's first football game and people showed up! Luckily I work there, so I was able to snag a great parking spot early.

But the game was wonderful. First of all, we won! Even though everyone was sure we were bound for defeat. It was a close game, Draft pulling out the win in the last seconds. All of the teachers sat together and cheered together from the 50 yard line. And I could really feel the school spirit and pride. It felt so homey - like baked bread and fresh cut grass. The scenery was beautiful, with the blue ridge mountains in the background. There was a breeze. The cheerleaders were full of pep and looking adorable. It was like from a TV show. I loved it!

Oh and I got to then watch a movie, girls night in style, with Celia and Mary Scott. Yay!

Cougar Roar!

Sidewalk Prophets - "You Can Have Me"

This song poses a pretty big statement, telling God - "you can have me"...all of me. The song asks a question, the singer pretty much asks himself, if Jesus were to appear and tell you to leave all things and follow him, could you do it?

We want to say, "well, of course," right?

Ha. I know I do.

I want to think that if God walked in I would be that annoying kid in the back of the room, bopping up and down in my seat, waving my hand frantically in the air, and yelling "pick me pick me pick me!!!!"

Although giving up "everything," I admit, sounds scary. I am sure in the presence of God "everything" wouldn't seem all that significant. But, it does make me wonder, what has God asked me to do in the past and I was like "nope...can't do it...its too hard...too far out of my comfort zone." Talk about an annoying child. Thank God, literally, that he loves me anyway.

I remember talking about Abraham once and someone said that God doesn't test people today anymore the way he tested Abraham. Even though I said this was wrong at the time, I wonder if God doesn't test anyone in that way anymore because he is sure they would just say no. On the other hand, what I said at the time, is that we are all still tested by this world ....sometimes in major ways. Even if we aren't asked to climb a mountain with our son and a knife.

Well, I just got way off track. But I went to the Bible and looked up the story of Abraham and Isaac anyway.

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"

"Here I am," he replied.

12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son." 

Phew, now that is some crazy pure faith.