Taking Offense

Complaints and taking offense seem a way of life in our modern world. Every day you may hear or say "Can you believe she did that?" "Oh, I was so mad when..." "I can't believe he thinks he can treat me that way." "Listen to what he said to me" etc. etc. I can get offended pretty easily sometimes, especially if I feel unappreciated or wrongly accused. But, from scripture I can see that taking offense is a step too far in the wrong direction.

 I remember a year or so ago, I was having a discussion with another believer, who had a much different faith than I did. I shared my opinions, possibly with a bit too much vehemence, and so this friend told me I was being judgmental. Right away, I felt offended. How dare she, right? Me - judgmental, no way. I even thought of not talking to her again...in pure dramatic fashion. Then, I realized, as much as her words hurt my pride, I needed to hear them. Of course the Lord wants us to share our faith, but in a loving way to encourage and inspire others, not to simply state I am right and you are wrong.  At times offense can be selfish, it can be a peacock's show of pride. It can even weaken or harm a relationship, when it turns into blame or disgust. But, Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up." The next time I am offended, I pray I can have the spiritual maturity to overcome it and respond in love. Whether it is from deserved criticism, or an undeserved harsh word, I pray I can turn that other cheek...for my own soul's sake.

The Bible also speaks of being offended in God. When we complain about our lives, about what God has given us, we could be taking offense with what God has done for us. Complaining about something that isn't the way you might want it to be might show a lack of faith. To find fault with what the Lord has done in your life so far is a testament of unbelief in what God can do, his true plan, his love for you to do for you as a loving father would. Instead, faith is shown when a person, possibly distraught, upset, hurt, sick, or afflicted in anyway, turns to God in prayer, in faith that the Lord will give you all the desires of your heart and has a plan for your life, faith in the Lord's will.


Luke 7:23 says, "And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me."
Job was stripped of all the things in this world that gave him joy. His friends showed a wavering faith. In reply, Job 9:4 says, "His wisdom is profound, his power vast. Who can prosper if they harden their hearts against God?" (MSG)

Proverbs 29: 11 says, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."

One way, I hope to instill this loving demeanor that is slow to take offense is in my partnership and union in marriage. At times, Kyle and I bicker and at times we find offense with one another. I try to speak my concern with him so that it can quickly be resolved.

But other times when I just swallow my offense, whether it be with Kyle or someone else, I don't think it goes away, but sits in my heart. Instead, I hope to learn to not take offense or kick the offense out with a showing of love. It will probably make me a much happier person.

P.S. I am not saying that you shouldn't take offense to all things. I thought about it and there are definitely injustices, hurtful demeanor, and plain evilness that we should take offense to, stand up to, and possibly attempt to stop or overcome. Just thought I should say that.

This May Be It!

Hanover Tavern - built in 1743 as part of the Hanover Courthouse plantation, this little historical gem is another one of the wedding venues we have been excited to visit. Well, Kyle went on Tuesday, while I was working, and came home and basically told me it was pretty much the one.

The place is very antiquey - with a post office from the 1790s and a theater room that has the title of the first dinner theater, built into the tavern in the 1950s. It has charm and a historical courthouse across the street, which provides a lovely old backdrop for the ceremony. Kyle said that the event manager seemed easy to work with and very helpful, which is great. I love the look of it, I do, but, like every other site, I always find something that stops me from being super excited. This time its a combo of three: price is a little high, we can only use the food catering on site - we can't shop around, and the tent outside looks kind of ugly. ...But I have only seen pictures. I will share them with you...if you have an opinion, feel free to share. : )

I like this area - inside dining area. Good back-up in case of rain.

Back patio - in front of tent, for extra seating.

Back of Tavern...same patio.

Tent from outside.

Inside Tent...the taped together dirt rug carpet thing is the ugly part.

It's too bad that they can't take down the tent and we could just have dinner on this lovely patio.

Front of the historic courthouse across the street.

Cool view from inside the courthouse.

More courthouse....awesome view.

Cool little building along the wall around the courthouse property.

If only they would let us shop around for better catering prices...and only if they never put that tent in permanently....then I'd be jumping up and down about it. Still, I give a little hop or two for definite potential....and because I am tired of looking. : )

Our Backyard

Kyle has been working his tale off in the backyard lately: building a patio, taking old deck boards and transforming them into a fence, digging flower beds and a small box garden, and creating free river rock paths. I have helped, but have put in maybe a third of the number of hours as he has. He is usually ready to quit by the time I get home from work, so we usually eat dinner by that time and then both chill out on the couch. Anyways...we have made some progress, so I thought I would share. If you read the last post, Kathy helped us get started on our new chicken coop and now all we have left to do is paint it and get some lattice to cover the cinder blocks on the bottom. It's not a mansion on an aesthetic level, but on size...its a mansion to the ladies below. : )

Bernadette, Sweet Caroline, and Black Betty...all with their own theme song.

Still a little rough...but Kyle put that together - no plans, no experience. Pretty good.

Kyle shingled the roof. Very nice.

Elenore Rigby

The front flowerbed...on miracle grow.

Our box garden...with a few tomato plants and two pepper plants.

 Not bad, huh? Not bad. We still have our walkways to complete. I plan on filling a wheelbarrow up everyday at least once with river rock (free from the creek behind our house) to make our front walk. Kyle's going to work on our back patio and fire pit. I have some old wicker furniture to repair and paint. Oh and we also have a chicken coop to paint. About eight more days of school...then freedom (besides the three conferences I am going to this summer) to work, plan, prepare, and craft. WOO HOO!

Rose and George...

This blog was built with the intention of detailing my wedding, but I thought I'd stop being all self-centered, and talk about another wedding. About time, right? Ha. Well, anyways, Rose, one of my wonderful gal pals from college is getting married this summer and I am so excited. I don't know a lot of details about the wedding, because I live a state away, but I have this feeling it will be one of those weddings full of smiles, laughter, and love.

Here we are...so young...so full of dreams.

Rose was not only one of my roommates our fourth year of college, but she was also my education bud. She was pretty much the only friend I had in the education major. A major that was made up of kind of a small little group of weird. I remember sitting around a conference table with a bunch of "my kind" in an education class once and thinking, wow, teaching must require some sort of odd gene. But I digress. Rose. I was thinking of how to describe her and I came up with a horrific cliche: Rose is as sweet as....well a rose. Take that Shakespeare. But honestly, Rose wasn't one of the weirdos at that table. She's just awesome. She makes a great teacher because of who she is: compassionate, truly genuinely happy, and completely encouraging and hopeful. I have seen her have some bad days, but still when you think of Rose, you think of pure positive energy. She is just so much fun to be around. I love talking teacher with her over some sushi and giggling about all the crazy times in college.

Stole this picture from facebook. : )

George. I have to admit, I wasn't best friends with George, but I always respected him, felt welcomed by him, and enjoyed his company. He always wanted to take care of you. He has that same welcoming quality that Rose has. The beautiful thing about Rose and George is that they have been together forever! They have been through everything, and still here they are, getting married in July. They are a testament of true love and I admire them and the hope they give to any couple who might be struggling. I have faith they can get through anything.

Oh and here is the fun part - I get to be in the wedding! And I get to wear a saree. I have seen my Indian friends all decked out in sarees, but I never even tried one on. I am so excited. Not just for the sweet threads though, for my first friend wedding. Rose is one the girls that has seen me at my worst and at my best, who has grown with me through college, and now she is getting married. How cool.

So excited!

We ....Wii and build things

For some reason, school work has been kicking my butt lately. Add that to my summeritis and I am just over schooled. Don't get me wrong - still love my job - but just wondering when the stack of papers will end. I am excited for the summer. I am taking a bunch of classes to better my educating skills, I am going to start truly planning my wedding, I plan on being extra crafty, and I am going to plan my entire curriculum for next year, making it extra organized in binders and such. (I said the word "plan" like 9 times there) None-the-less with all the work, we still manage to have fun. Pictorial proof to follow.

Just Dance. Love it!

Kyle is so serious, he wore a headband to keep his hair from getting sweaty...or something like that.

Last weekend, Miss Kathy came down to visit. Nothing big planned - we just watched a couple movies, hit a few yard sales and an awesome Amish farm market, and started the new and improved chicken coop. So far, so good on construction. We have made process. Kathy got the fire lit and we just started rolling. Though I have to admit, we have no idea what we are doing. We have to talk it out before we make a move, just so we know it will work. By the way, I was helping too...I just took a photography break. : )

Kyle apparently is too sexy for his shirt.

 

Well, at least now, you can see where the chicken coop started, so when I post the finished pictures, you will be truly amazed. 

Stuff...

So, I am not consumer reports, of course, but every now and then I come across something that is awesome and lately that has been the case...sort of over and over again...

Here are a couple things that deserve a whoop whoop:
1. Freschetta's Simply Inspired Pizza: These delightful, unique frozen pizzas were on sale at Kroger, so we tried two different kinds. Now, usually, frozen-pop-in-the-oven pizza is nothing to write home to mom about, but these ones are delicious. We tried the Rustic Pepperoni Pomodoro one with giant pieces of "rustic" pepperoni, a spicy red sauce, and mushrooms and the Classic Bruschetta Pizza, which tasted exactly like regular Bruschetta. Delicious.

2. Olay Total Effects 7-in-1 Daily Moisturizer: Now this is an anti-aging product, but it was on sale so I thought I would try it. I usually can never find facial products I like and I was in need of a rich moisturizer because I have very dry skin. Well, this one rocks my socks...or rather my epidermis. It is probably the best moisturizer I have ever used and it doesn't break me out or stink. Awesome.

3. Zumba: Okay not truly a product on the shelves at your local Target, but still awesome. If you talked to me lately, you probably already know about my obsession with Zumba. Okay, so not really an obsession, since I only go about 2x a week, but still the best exercise I have ever done. I sweat and it really is only cardio...but it is FUN! Something I thought exercise could never be.

...I swear I had others...but can't remember. Here is another list though of things that rock!
A. Adele
B. "The Voice" on NBC
C. String Cheese
D. Home-made Scones
E. Listening to audio books in my car
F. Old antique metal tins and glass
G. Muted colors from the 70s
H. All you people...ha. : )

Progress

Well, I think things are going to be getting done soon. My head has just been swimming with ideas and possibilities, but I think I am starting to be realistic and focus on exactly what I want and what I can have.

VENUE: We have two more venues to look at I think and then we are going to choose. We visited Barren Ridge Vineyard, which is beautiful, but pretty expensive. We still have Natural Bridge to visit, although I am not really sold on the idea of that one, and a 19th century tavern in Hanover that I am actually pretty excited about. In the back of my mind, I am still holding onto the Inn at Old Virginia, the Evermore Barn, and the Frontier Culture Museum.

THE DATE: We are still set on our date: June 16, 2012.

SAVE-THE-DATES: I have an exact plan for these and I am so excited about them. I am not going to give away too much, but they will be home-made and 3D! I need to start collecting addresses.

COLORS: I am pretty set on colors - seeing that I want to just incorporate a lot of earthy spring tones: tans, browns, light purples, country blue, yellow, vintage green, and pops of reddish coral. So lots of color - I think with the focus on tan, country blue, yellow, and vintage green.

THEME: Books and birds, I think. Very vintage, like in the pictures below. Vintage is kind of our thing.

From a Teacher

No matter where you work, you will probably face a personality that clashes with your own. Well, since I teach about 130 students each year, I am undeniably bound to come across at least one attitude, maybe seven, that just doesn't click with mine. I have one student that have been especially clashing with. She is a type A personality, very strong willed, strong voiced, and stubborn. Using just a bit of an understatement, you could say she has sass and we have not been getting along. At first, I tried urging her verbally to quiet down, to stop talking, to just get back on task, to try, to calm down. These comments got me no where; they just seemed to cause me more pain, like scratching off a scab. After a while, I just became so exhausted that I started to ignore her nagging comments, her little interruptions, her complaints. I started complimenting her, treating her like I wanted her to treat me, acting like she enjoyed my class and was just another student. I know what you are thinking: Duh. We learned that like day one in Sunday school. But still, it is lesson that I continually keep realizing: to just treat others the way you want to be treated. And it is still profound when it proves to work. This student still probably hates my class, but at least we can get through it together, in more harmony.

In another note...

Major Teacher Sweater!

I love my job; I say that all the time. One thing that makes me gush like this is the amazing amount of talent that I am surrounded by every day. I get to teach students to think deeper, to dig into a character, to challenge their world and their original conceptions. I get to read their amazing poetry and wonderful short stories. I mean, really, my kids can write....like better than I can. I have like two or three that could easily step into a college class right now and do just fine. School has always been my thing and I love that I get to share what I have learned and continue learning every day! But I am really just speaking thanks, my gratitude towards God for the opportunity he has given. ....and probably just babbling.

Oh BTW, Kyle and I are moving to Denver as soon as we win the HGTV Green Home. God is good, people. Here is my other half and his new toy...and no shirt. Video games are tough work.

For those that don't know: that is a video game controller. Awesome.